Bad Santa rules: how to play the gift-stealing game
Bad Santa rules explained step by step: steal limits, the first player's final turn, a budget in A$, and a mathematician's tips for winning the gift-stealing game.
Bad Santa is the Christmas game where the presents are wrapped, the numbers are drawn, and your aunt steals the good chocolates from a nine-year-old without blinking. It is Secret Santa with the gloves off. Nobody buys for one person. Everyone brings one gift, the lot goes in a pile, and the fun is in the stealing.
Every group plays by slightly different rules, and the argument usually starts around gift number four. Here is one clear set of rules, the house rules to agree on first, a budget that will not start a fight, and a bit of maths on how to come out with the gift you wanted.
Hosting the swap this year? Ask everyone to create a free wishlist before the day. It will not help them during the game, but it helps every other present under the tree.
What Bad Santa is, and what else people call it
Bad Santa is the gift-stealing version of Secret Santa. In Australia you will hear it called Bad Santa, Dirty Santa, Kris Kringle with stealing, White Elephant or Yankee Swap. It is the same game wearing different hats. The Macquarie Dictionary lists the stealing version alongside the classic draw-a-name game and sums up the tactics nicely: getting the good gift takes timing and, in its words, a touch of bastardry.
If your group prefers the gentle version, where each person buys for one named person, our ultimate Secret Santa guide covers that. Still not sure what a Kris Kringle is? This explainer sorts it out in two minutes.
What you need before you start
- People. Six is the minimum. Eight to twenty is the sweet spot. Past twenty-five the game drags.
- One wrapped gift per person. Same budget for everyone, no name tags. Gift bags count as wrapping, as long as nobody can see inside.
- Numbered slips. One per player, folded, in a hat. Numbers decide the turn order.
- A referee. One person who knows the rules, counts steals and settles arguments. Give them a drink and a chair with a good view.
The rules, step by step
- 1Everyone puts their wrapped gift in the pile. Then everyone draws a number.
- 2Player 1 picks any gift, unwraps it and shows the room. There is nothing to steal yet, so Player 1 just opens.
- 3Player 2 has a choice: unwrap a new gift from the pile, or steal Player 1's open gift.
- 4If your gift is stolen, you go straight away. Unwrap a new gift or steal from someone else. You cannot take back the gift that was just stolen from you.
- 5Each gift can be stolen a set number of times (three is the usual limit). After its last steal it is frozen and stays with whoever holds it.
- 6Play carries on in number order until every gift in the pile has been opened.
- 7Player 1 then gets one final turn: keep what they have, or steal any gift that is not frozen. Whoever they steal from takes the gift Player 1 was holding, and the game ends.
That is the whole game. Write the steal limit and the final-turn rule on a card and prop it against the biscuit tin.
House rules to agree on before gift number one
Most Bad Santa arguments come from rules that were never said out loud. Settle these before the first slip is drawn.
- Steal limit. Three per gift is standard. Two makes a quicker game for a big group. Unlimited sounds fun and ends with the same bottle of gin going round the room for forty minutes.
- No immediate steal-back. Without this rule two stubborn people can lock the whole room in a loop.
- Player 1's final turn. Keep it. It is the only thing that makes going first worth having, and the maths below backs that up.
- A turn timer. Thirty seconds to decide. Dithering is the real killer of a Bad Santa round.
Setting the budget
Pick one number and say it out loud in the invitation. A$20 to A$30 is comfortable for an office or extended family. A$10 to A$15 works for a big group or a student share house, and it pushes people to be clever rather than expensive. Going past A$50 turns a party game into a tense investment decision.
The budget is a ceiling and a floor: a A$4 gift in a A$25 game is not cheeky, it is a dud that someone gets stuck with. And the gift should be something most people in the room would be glad to take home. Joke mugs are funny for one round and then live in a cupboard. Our Kris Kringle gifts under A$20 list and the funny Secret Santa gifts post are built for this: good enough to steal, cheap enough to laugh about.
How to win, according to a mathematician
Joel Gilmore, an Associate Professor at Griffith University, ran 50,000 simulated Bad Santa games with 16 virtual guests and 16 gifts to test which rules are fair and what the best tactics are. He published the results in The Conversation. In plain English:
- Steal. Players who never stole ended up about 75 per cent less satisfied with their final gift than players who did. Being polite costs you the good gift.
- Steal on spec. Take a gift you think someone else will want. If it gets stolen from you, you get another pick later, when you can see what is worth having.
- Going first is a raw deal under strict rules. When a gift can be stolen only once per round, the later players win and Player 1 loses out.
- The fairest rules let a gift be stolen more than once in a turn, lock it after it has been held three times, and give Player 1 one more stealing round at the end. That is close to the rule set above, which is why it is the one we recommend.
He found that a few players could team up to game the lock rule, and said plainly that this is collusion and he does not endorse it. Neither do we. Your family will remember.
The one thing the maths cannot fix is the gift you wanted and lost on the final steal. That is what a wishlist is for. If a gift gets away, add it to your list and someone will buy it for your birthday; the Chrome extension saves it from any shop page in one click.
Etiquette that keeps everyone on speaking terms
- Steal with a smile and a sorry. The game is the game, but the person across the table is still your sister-in-law in January.
- If you are the host, do not bring the best gift and then win it back on your final turn. People notice.
- Regifting is fine if the gift is new and in its box. The mystery candle with the dusty lid is not a gift, it is a confession.
- Keep the gag gifts to one or two. A room full of rubber chickens is a bad night for everyone, including the chickens.
A simple timeline for the host
- Two weeks out: send the date, the budget, the steal limit and the final-turn rule in one message. One message, not a thread.
- The day before: write the rules on a card, make the numbered slips, clear a table.
- On the day: collect gifts at the door so nobody knows whose is whose, draw numbers once everyone has arrived, and start before dessert.
Want a few warm-up questions before the stealing starts? Our Secret Santa questions post has a stack.
Make your own list. Before the next round of gift-giving, start a free wishlist, add a few things you would be glad to get, and share one link with the family. Gift-givers claim items without you seeing, so no doubles and no awkward returns. It is the one part of Christmas where stealing is not required.
Frequently Asked Questions
4 questions answered
Three is the usual limit. After the third steal the gift is frozen and stays with whoever holds it. Some groups use two for a faster game with a big crowd. Agree the number before you start and have the referee keep count.
In the standard rules, yes. After every gift has been opened, Player 1 gets a final turn and can steal any gift that is not frozen. The person they steal from keeps the gift Player 1 was holding. It makes up for Player 1 having nothing to steal at the start.
In Secret Santa each person draws a name and buys one gift for that person. In Bad Santa nobody buys for anyone in particular. All the gifts go in a pile, players draw numbers, and each turn you either open a new gift or steal one that is already open.
A$20 to A$30 suits most office and family groups. A$10 to A$15 works for big groups or anyone on a tight budget. Whatever you choose, make it the same for everyone and say it in the invitation, so nobody turns up with a A$4 gift to a A$25 game.
Holly writes about gift-giving, wishlists and stress-free group gift exchanges for List of Wishes. She has organised more Secret Santas and Kris Kringles than she cares to admit, and has strong opinions about novelty socks.
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